I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
