Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Randomize
