she looked like the bat from fern gully.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
