I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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