We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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