i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
