summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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