rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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