Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
