Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
North Korea, Best Korea!
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
