I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize