WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
