I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize