I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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