I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
