I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
