I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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