names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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