Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
