just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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