i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Randomize
