i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
