butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize