just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
My penis needs a shock collar
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
