I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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