It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
