Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
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