This show inspires me to have sex in space
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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