so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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