I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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