im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
