just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize
