Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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