This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize
