we're chasing vodka with high fives
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize