so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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