after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
