The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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