Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
