Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
