What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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