hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
