isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
