she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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