Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
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