I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
you are never too drunk for berry picking
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize