i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Randomize
