@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Randomize
