i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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