did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
This is not my ceiling
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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