I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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