I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
