you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize