We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
