Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Is it penis luge time yet?
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
