found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
