We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I'm sobbing to NWA
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
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