"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Randomize
