so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
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