I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
