mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
