Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
3pm strippers are depressing
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
