ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
