PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
