Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I just pynch a tree in the face
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize