stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
