this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
