I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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