Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
