what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize