a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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