Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
