I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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