who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Randomize
