when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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