i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
