I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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