apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
