Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
