did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize