No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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