Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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