I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
