what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
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